India has taken me into her arms, soothed me with her soft smile and beguiled me with her inner beauty.  India has become the beloved.
The call to wake up to the I AM is as precious today as it has always been.  Ah Hum - the 'I', the 'Who Am I', the direct path to Self, consciousness, existence.  What else is there?  India is so richly steeped in the heart.  India IS the HEART.  & i find myself taken closer into the heart via enquiry.  Towards the only question worth asking.  Namely, 'Who Am I?'  Who is the' i', who in my waking state, decides every moment of my life?  Who is the infinite 'I' behind the 'i' where bliss and love pervade all ?
Ramana Maharshi, Arunachala Hill and Tiruvannamalai have opened their doors to me.  They have feasted, sung, prayed and walked with me.  A perfect host, heralding the local cows, calves, the barking street dogs, the children, bicycles, scooters, tuk tuks, fruit stalls and temples.  
Yoga here in India means so much more than postures of the body.  The path to liberation/jivamukti is YOGA.  Yoga is a conscious way of life.  A yogi is in search of the Grace of God via all he offers and works for. Additionally, the daily meeting with Diane Long here has stripped my asana practice back to basics.  Back to the beginning, to the not knowing.
I choose Yoga and give gratitude and heartfelt thanks to India for anchoring the teachings within.

I have been ‘wonky’ for all of my adult life and very aware of the compensations that play out. The unevenness of my being and the occasional upper back aching has driven me towards yoga, craniosacral therapy, shaking, massage, dance - in fact all that is important to me today.  Scoliosis is a powerful force, a driving force in my life.
So what is Scoliosis?
It is a sideways curvature of the spine involving rotation of the vertebrae, most noticeable around the upper back with a rib protrusion and an opposite bulging shoulder and with possibly an additional smaller curvature at the lower end of the spine with a pronounced hip.

Specialist orthopaedic surgeons are adept at surgical intervention.  What else is out there?  Not much in my experience.  I have the 2 X-rays that were taken of my spine when I was 17 years old.  The first opinion in Hong Kong pronounced authoritatively that at 38 degree thoracic curvature, I was in need of a rod insertion.  But I had no pain?  So I went to Harley Street and this surgeon said I could go either way.  A rod or leave it and see.  Without pain, it was a no brainer.  Who knows what complications a rod wired into my spine might entail and besides, my movement would be severely limited.  Why did I ever even consider this course of action?  Because I was under the spell of the hierarchy of those who know best…aka ‘specialists’.  That was a long time ago and orthopaedic surgery has improved enormously but take a look at the British Society of Scoliosis and there is little other than advice on surgery.
Not taking the route of the rod, I realised that I needed help and dedicated a part of my life to doing the best for my body and spine and seeking out help wherever and whenever I could.  This lead me to experience all sorts of wonderful and enlightening encounters which would require another blog.  However, I have come to see my wonkiness as a gift, a door opener, an unexpected way forward.
We all know that cells are continually renewing, that we are not the same body we were 10 years ago.  So why isn’t anyone assisting us with methods of coping day to day with scoliosis and working to reduce the curvature?  This inert offering of ‘observation’ seems scandalous to me.  As if there is nothing else to be done.  I want to scream out to the world, ‘there is so much an individual can do to help themselves!’  But where is the help?
Christa Lehnert-Schroth left a legacy with ‘Three-dimensional treatment for scoliosis’ which is a marvellous tool for therapists and patients alike.  She worked with severe cases of scoliosis and saw results. However, patients must continue with the exercises and breath work throughout their lives in order to maintain and decrease their curvatures.  Are folks willing?

I, for one, am willing.  I would LOVE a straight spine.  I admire and delight in every beautiful, straight spine I have the opportunity to see.  We value what we desire and I so desire a sexy straight spine.

I have several tools that I use daily to maintain my mid line, enable me to stay ache free and keep it all fluid.  The back arch, yoga poses, especially twists at the moment, shaking (ratubagus.com), breathing with awareness into the lesser side and other help that I seek outside : dance, massage and craniosacral therapy all contribute.  I have a weekly adult ballet class with a woman who is eccentrically theatrical and loves opera music.  She throws us into the splits, which I found vaguely careless until I realised that I felt really good in my body.  She has us doing double pirouettes and grands jettes across the room.  This is an hour of effortful heaven to me.  I forget everything when I am in her class and am one with dance and her direction.  She is sensitive to my scoliosis which is now not more than 17 degrees but still leaves me wonky!

So if you live with scoliosis my advice to you is to keep it supple.  Move those ribs, breathe deeply and into the lesser side.  Roll and loosen the shoulder joints and be as active in a relaxed manner as possible.  Be on the look out for help from experienced practitioners in whatever field.  I suffered severe back pain when breast feeding my first born.  Alexandra Technique with a sensitive and wise therapist was my life saver at that time.

I will be offering yoga retreats for scoliosis.  Let me know if you are interested.​

Thanks to all the teachings my spine has offered to me.  My generous and knowing spine.  My Ganesha!

Craniosacral Therapy or CST permits impartial relationship following the principals of science and physiology to facilitate self healing.
We are relational beings
We thrive on relationship
We are immensely nurtured by relationships where we are heard and appreciated
Neutrally, without prejudice, judgement or hurt.  With words and by presence.

A large part of the training and continued practice for me as a CST involves going inward and listening to the body.  Silently, impartially.  This is quite unlike ‘normal’ everyday outward relating with others.  To listen inwards can reveal how little I know and yet to also wonder at the body and its magnificence.  An organism that self regulates, that always seeks wellness when given the opportunity.  

Experience shows me how external circumstances can influence the way we think, feel and nourish ourselves.  This can in turn impact the body’s self regulation ability.  It can become overloaded and malfunction.  Dis-ease, physical and or mental difficulties arise as a sign that outwardly all is not well.  We stop, take stock and begin to change certain aspects of our life in order to get better.  Someone might recommend a CST session and so you say “why not?”

Compared to many other modalities, CST appears externally void of doing - which it is!  There is little if no outward moving or manipulating joints, limbs and torso.  Dropping into a silent presence, grounded and acknowledged by me, the practitioner, I gently invite a connection through light touch and wide yet attentive listening with the system of the client.  The ‘system’ may be the primitive intuitive limbic brain, the para sympathetic nervous system, the skeletal system, the emotional body, the mental or metaphysical body.  It is the client who at some level chooses the type of engagement that will benefit his or her system in that moment.

All systems appear to be interconnected via the fundamental and little known Cerebrospinal Fluid (CSF).  This viscous fluid bathes the spinal cord, brainstem and cranium in it’s protective light. The fluid appears to have a rhythmic ‘tidal’ movement as it flows up and down the spine.  This is because the CSF space is a dynamic pressure system, protecting and nourishing the Central Nervous System and the brain.

This fluid is one of the golden keys to opening to the body’s ability to self correct and heal.  It also allows for stuck emotions to surface like a gentle wave and move through and clear, sometimes with understanding, other times just dropping away like the ebb of the tide to be absorbed into the vast ocean of all that is.

There is a wonderful You Tube video called “Strolling under the Skin”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW0lvOVKDxE&t=912s
Combining at times an amusing Strauss waltz with a rather turgid English translation of a plastic surgeon, Dr. Jean-Claude Guimberteau, this video captures the movements of soft tissue dividing, aligning and continuously accommodating the weblike reconstruction required for everyday movement.  It is to me totally enthralling, displaying an inner world of tensegrity like I have never seen before.  Worth watching if even for a few moments.

This video mirrors the sensations I often feel as I notice a client’s body adjusting and their soft connective tissue rearranging itself throughout the whole fascial sheath.

In today’s information and fast paced world, generally speaking, our physical and mental bodies are exhausted and on overwhelm.  The nervous system is too often on high alert (sympathetics) and imbalance occurs when the rest and repairs (parasympathetics) are not able to get a look in.  The parasympathetics kick in when we feel safe, supported, relaxed, quiet.

As practitioner, I rest into a meditative, resting nature and by contact and presence with the client, their system will move towards, if not fall head long into a similar state.  Why?  Because the system is so relieved to be witnessed and feel the resonance of this state and move into ‘rest and digest’!  This effectively reduces stress, anxiety, improving sleep and boosting the immune system.

Craniosacral Therapy does not comfortably fit into any known box and so it remains a little mysterious, aloof, set apart from the normal.  When in fact it is so absolutely NORMAL!  It is the body normalising ITSELF, coming into balance, witnessing itself.  There is an energy exchange between client and practitioner.  Presence and the holding of space by the practitioner allows the client to move into a place of self correction, release, restoration, acceptance.

CST is an unlimited modality.

To conclude:
CST impacts soft tissue release, structural decompression alleviating joint, nerve, emotional, mental pain.
CST aids mobilisation, balancing and releasing of joints, organs, muscles.
CST stimulates the Endocrine system, Metabolism and Nervous system.
CST aids fluid change from cellular level to vascular and lymphatic flow.
CST allow for an energy exchange and emotional release, restoration and acceptance.
CST is effective in reducing and eliminating the underlying conditions that cause chronic pain and inflammation.

Lastly, this is not something that is done to a client or happens by magic, although at times it does appear to be full of Grace and magnificence.   This is a 2-way equal exchange entered into by the client whole heartedly.  As I said in the beginning, it is relational.  Mutual trust and allowing for the arising of known health and ease of being.  That is what CST is about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-mLstQUKQ0&t=1s

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I give most grateful thanks to Jan Kennedy, who came to me for yoga and invited me to have a CST session with her.  Absolutely amazed by our weekly sessions together, my life took a turn I could never have imagined and the journey has been nothing short of miraculous.  Beginning the healing of deep wounds both physical and emotional, facilitated release and the ability to forgive and receive.  I wish all of you reading this the most heartfelt compassion for all that you are and all that you can be.

A toast to life’s journey with all it’s twists and turns, ups and downs, and with the ability for abundance and well being.
​
Why not try a session and see for yourself?

Yoga has been in my life since I was 19 years old.  My friend’s mother invited me to join her yoga class.  I thought she was so old and yet so supple, I was very impressed.  She was probably the age I am now!  After many years of weekly practice and many different teachers, I now find myself happily playing on my mat each morning, not always doing what would be officially called yoga postures but enjoying the feel and movement of my body in myriad ways.  

I love to feel the floor beneath different parts of my body and sensing tension dissolve as I negotiate the ground to the spine and observe the changing parts.  I love the spirals of my joints, spaciousness around my breath, the lightness of my limbs and the opening up of the body in small ways as habitual muscle tension falls away.  I continue to explore ways to open and engage my feet, to release my heels and to move up through the ankles towards the ever beckoning spine.

For me, Yoga is an exploration of the body.  A chance to listen in, to be quiet with myself, to soften and let go of trying for I am a very good trier!  Sometimes, lying on my back with knees bent, feet on the floor and arms overhead while I release into the breath is enough, it is plenty, it is nourishing.  

Other times I feel more adventurous and move as my body guides me from one position to another, hardly knowing where I am being taken.  There is an inner strength and full absorption to the inner and outer space as I move. 

This is yoga asana for me at the moment.

Sitting and breathing is important to me.  With my spine settling long and resting comfortably into my pelvis, I close my eyes and watch the breath flow.  I sometimes move my torso a little to free up restricted places, I release the ribs from a holding pattern.  I then move into single nostril breathing, Nadi Shodhana, breathing fully out through the throat before the next in breath arrives. I finish, and sit in peace and contentment as this is the gift of the practice for me most days.

With this practice, I love ritual.  I light a candle, I sound my Tibetan bowl and I open a window.  It is purely for the love of doing it and acknowledging to myself that my space is sacred - as I am.

​I first began shaking at the end of 2004.  I had heard of a visit to Dorset, England by a Balinese energy master called Ratu Bagus.  While Ratu and his practice sounded a bit strange to me, I trusted those who were so inspired and excited after meeting him.  So I joined a group and began to shake every day until in July 2005 when  I flew to Bali and spent 3 weeks with Ratu in the ashram, shaking, meditating, eating wondrous exotic foods and beginning the long journey of emptying, releasing into laughter and clarity. I continue to feel lighter.  I visit the ashram in Bali generally once a year now where I notice the practice is continually evolving.

Shaking is as old as the hills.  Ancient tribes shook when in trance, animals shake after encounters, Quakers shake when with spirit and shaking is a spontaneous and important part of human trauma release.  Many people to this day practice shaking around the world.

The effects of shaking and the way we shake are unique to each person.  It is not something that is easy intellectually to understand, it needs to be experienced.  However, I will attempt to share my experience with you.

As I relax through my feet, deep into the earth and up through my spine, I allow my body to find its own shaking rhythm which I augment in order to feel energy wake up inside me and heat my whole being.  This universal energy or electricity, creates a vibration which seems to wake up the body and motivate healing, clearing and strengthening on all levels - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. As well as shifting any stagnated energy in the body, it invigorates the lymphatic system, tones the blood and energises every cell of our being.

It is a practice I do almost every day for 20-30 minutes.  In the early days at the ashram we would shake to music but now we shake and sing the Gayatri Mantra and this combination is a potent and exhilarating start to my day.  The image below shows the last 20 minutes of each ashram shake where we hold hands in concentric circles with one person in the middle.  It is incredibly powerful and connecting.  

There is no need to analyse this simple practice.  Just do it and do it every day, like you would clean your teeth - 10 minutes is still enough.  This is a simple gift that promotes wellbeing, harmony and happiness.  Watch out - you may notice your life beginning to change.

'Shaking becomes meditation.
Shaking brings change.
The impossible becomes possible - that is energy!'
~ Ratu Bagus